The Happiest Place on Earth
by i-want-more-than-a-dream
Summary: What started out as a chance to immerse the Captain in "American culture" turns into a trip for all of the Avengers: and Loki. The first few chapters set up the story a bit slow, sorry! , I will try to update as frequently as possible! My first PUBLISHED fanfic, please rate and review! Feedback is always appreciated! **Rated T for later chapters and cursing**
1. Bored

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Marvel, nor any of the characters, nor the movie, or anything that my story is about. But oh God, I wish I did.**

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Chapter One: Bored.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any man (or woman) who is bored to tears will strive to find some way to entertain themselves.

This was the situation in which Tony Stark found himself on one beautiful May day, as he woke up and realized that he had absolutely nothing to do for at least the next two weeks. Pepper had even wrapped up the past quarter's reports, which was a first for Stark Industries. Hell, even Fury had said that there was nothing left to do at the moment. Which was nice, because now they had some time to themselves.

They should be spending that time training. Or, at the very least be working on adjusting to their new home in Stark Towers.

But, since Tony didn't want—or need—to do any of that, neither of those options were viable.

No doubt about it, Tony was bored. Drop-dead, head-pounding-against-the-wall, mind-numbing boredom.

That wasn't the problem though. No, the dilemma itself was finding some way to entertain the whole Tower. And if they were as bored as he was… well, good luck.

But, unfortunately, he'd have to get up first.

"JARVIS," Tony whined groggily. "What time is it?"

"10 hours and 17 minutes sir" The AI replied promptly. "I would have insisted that you woke up earlier, but you told me to, and I am paraphrasing at this point, to 'go the heck away,' and that I am not to wake you unless there is an apocalypse scenario."

Oh yeah. Well, those weren't his exact words, but JARVIS wasn't programmed to curse. He kept forgetting to add those words into his program, he would _pay_ to see the look on Fury's face the next time he came over here.

Damn. Not only was he bored, he was late too. They'd all be finished with breakfast by now, and God knows where they went for the rest of the day. He wouldn't even have Steve to entertain him; no, he'd be training like the good little soldier he is. Boring.

It was Cap's fault that he was up so late the past night anyhow! Oh GOD no, it was _nothing_ like that, it was a purely one sided, mindless flirtation. Tony was slightly tipsy anyway, they couldn't possibly hold it against him. The guys were having a movie marathon while Nat and Pepper were on a shopping spree in London—a business expenditure, of course—and somehow (all he remembered is Thor turning to the Hallmark channel) they ended up watching The Princess Bride. Steve was hooked from the start, he thought that the baseball video game was so neat. Clint groaned, but still stuck through the whole movie, and Bruce just sat there laughing at the most awkward times. Thor, however, kept commenting throughout the whole movie. Though not all his comments were about the movie.

"Man of Iron Stark," Thor asked curiously, "What purpose would Captain Rogers have to use you as a blanket, when there are many other blankets all around these living quarters?"

Tony cringed at the memory. Now there was a pickup line he would never use again. Oblivious as ever, Steve just shrugged—amidst Clint and Bruce's laughter—taking Thor's advice and grabbing a blanket to the left of him.

He had to put it behind him though; Nat and Pepper would be back by the end of today and Tony hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

He slowly got out of bed, still in his bathrobe, and walked out into the kitchen still in a daze. In so much of a daze that he didn't even notice the music in the background as he stumbled out of the kitchen and onto the couch with his coffee.

He plopped down on the couch, slowly sipping his coffee. Once he was awoken from his daze, however…

"Fuck Cap! What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, uh, hey Tony." Steve said sheepishly. "I was just… watching a movie."

Tony actually looked up at the TV, finally realizing what was on.

"The- The Little Mermaid? You're watching The Little Mermaid?"

"Well…" Steve blushed, his face turning pink. "I-I was looking for old movies… you know, from before I went under, and I found some old Mickey Mouse cartoons, and then I discovered that there were hundreds more cartoons now, so I started to watch those, and then I saw that Disney made more movies besides just Snow White, and so I started to watch those… I always tried to draw all those characters, Mickey especially, so I figured… why couldn't I draw the others too?"

Steve's face was now bright red as he took out a sketchbook, flipping through pages and pages of cartoon characters. Beautifully drawn, of course, but that wasn't what was distracting Tony at the moment.

"So you like Disney characters… and Disney movies?" Tony asked carefully.

"Well yeah," Steve replied. "I always loved Mickey Mouse."

This was perfect, absolutely perfect. Tony knew _exactly_ what he was going to do know…. And better yet, he could bring his friend with him. _It would be good for the man out of time, _Tony thought, _to immerse the Captain in "American culture."_

"JARVIS," Tony said with a wide grin. "Pack a suitcase for both me and Captain Rogers. We're going to Disney World."


	2. Disney World?

**DISCLAIMER: Damn, I wish I owned them. But, as always, I don't. I would buy like, 20 Tom Hiddlestons if I did.**

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Chapter 2: Disney… World?

Steve was confused. And it was evident. "Disney… World?"

"Yeah!" Tony said, barely able to contain his excitement. "The happiest place on Earth. It's basically a group of amusement parks—they did have amusement parks in your time, right?" Before Steve could even nod, he kept talking. "And there are all these rides, and you stay at resort hotels and you can stay super close to the park and there are 4 parks are 2 waterparks and—"

The opening of the elevator doors abruptly interrupted his rant, which was evidently confusing Steve even more.

"Hey Cap. Is Tony bothering you? Because I can make him help me with the systems analysis in the lab, if you want him to go away."

Bruce shot an _incredibly_ knowing smirk in Tony's direction. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_ Of course Bruce knew, how could he not. His science bro understood him. He knew things about Tony that he would never admit; he observed things that Tony hadn't even realized that. He understood him better even than Pepper.

_Especially_ even Pepper. She was never… _there_; actually… she was just along for the ride. Some ride. He felt terrible about the way he treated her; he never really appreciated her. No, he was a downright bastard in their relationship. Giving her time off to spend with Happy was the _least_ he could do.

But Bruce saw through Tony's "mindless" flirting with Steve… and he would see right through this trip, too.

Steve, still trying to understand Tony's rant, responded, "Oh no Dr. Banner, I'm not being bothered. Tony was just explaining to me what Disney World is."

"Oh?" Bruce arched one eyebrow, giving Tony a look that seemed to say, 'I don't know _what_ you're up to, but I'm gonna find out.'

"Yeah," Steve replied earnestly. "We're going tomorrow. It'll be really fun; it's all the way in Florida you know. I've never been to Florida!"

Now, Bruce—along with Clint, Nat, Thor and practically all of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents—had always had his suspicions about Tony and Steve. Tony had always denied it, mostly because he hadn't even realized it himself. Not to say that he hadn't thought about it… but Steve was perfectly oblivious. Hell, he was still trying to create a new life for himself in the 21st century. Romance was out of the question, for both of them.

Tony's flirtations… well, they didn't go unnoticed, but Steve just shrugged them off. Stark was so drunk most of the time, that nothing he said between 6pm and 9am should be taken seriously.

But as Natasha so eloquently put their make believe relationship, "It would be so super super adorable!"

(She was intoxicated at the time, so that shouldn't have been taken seriously either.)

While Steve continued to babble on about his love for Mickey Mouse and Disney cartoons, Bruce took one look at Tony's gaze—which was at the moment directed at Steve's ass—and knew _exactly_ what was going on here.

What was amazing about Bruce and Tony's relationship was that they could just look at each other and have a conversation without speaking a word.

_Seriously Stark?_ Bruce seemed to say, once he redirected Tony's stare. _Disney World? What are you trying to pull here?_

_What are you talking about?_ Tony asked with a questioning glance. _He's never been, and God knows a little vacation would do him good._

_That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it._

_Oh, _that_ again? I've told you before Bruce, there is nothing. The "flirting" is just to mess with Capsicle._

_Oh, really? I see the way you look at him… just because I'm in the lab all day doesn't mean I'm a complete social outcast. I know when someone has a crush._

_Don't be ridiculous. _Tony shot back. _I'd stick to the lab, if I were you._

_Look, Tony… I'm not gonna get through to you, and I know that. But if you're not careful, then someone's gonna walk away from this trip hurt._

_Oh lighten _up,_ Bruce. I'm Tony Stark. I don't get hurt._

_If you say so._

"… And from what Tony tells me, there was nothing even close to this back before I was frozen… Dr. Banner? Bruce? Are you listening?"

"What?" Bruce said a little too forcefully as he was broken out of his other 'conversation.' "Oh, sorry Cap, I just faded out there for minute. It's really so much fun, it'll be a great experience for you. I remember going there as a kid, it was like a second Christmas."

"Yeah, I'm… psyched. Is 'psyched' the right word?" Steve asked with a slight grin.

"Yeah, 'psyched' is perfect." Bruce said grinning back. "But Tony?"

"Huh? Sorry Bruce, what?" Now Tony was the one to be snapped out of his daze.

"Don't do anything you might regret. That being said," he added with a smirk, "Disney World is the… happiest place on Earth."

As Bruce went back into the elevator, knowing full well what he had just set in motion, he left behind him a slightly pissed Tony, a super confused Steve, and two guys who now had no idea what this coming week was going to entail.


	3. Seven's Company

**DISCLAIMER: Once again, I don't own them. Sadly. All characters are the property of Marvel, etc. etc. and so forth.**

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Chapter 3: Seven's Company

The rest of the day was relatively relaxed. Steve, who was becoming more Internet savvy every day, went online to find all the information he could about Disney World. It abruptly ended when, whilst trying to find videos of peoples trips and recommendations, came across a video entitled "Snow White and her Prince stay at Disney World Suites."

In fact it was not a tour of the suites, but a demonstration of the many uses of the king size bed in said suites.

It was at that point that Tony decided that Steve had had enough Internet for one day.

Dinner, however, was hell.

It was a Thursday, pizza night, so it was complicated enough as is. Everyone wanted different toppings, so everyone ended up having their own pizza, left in the fridge for Thor to finish up the next night. Thor himself would have 3 or 4 pizzas with everything—EVERYTHING—on them, and then help himself to whatever looked appetizing at the moment. Clint had Chicago style, Bruce Mediterranean flatbread. Pepper—well when she wasn't in D.C. or too busy with Happy, Pepper would just eat the cheesy bread. Steve and Tony (ironically enough) would end up splitting a pepperoni pizza. New York style, of course. Natasha would order pineapple pizza, which no one quite understood. Not even Thor would touch her leftovers, as he referred to pineapple as "the yellow tropical menace."

Oh, it started out like any other pizza night. It ended once Clint opened his mouth.

"So, Stark." Clint brought up snarkily. "What's this I hear about a trip to Disney World?"

Steve popped in before Tony had a chance to defend himself. "Oh yeah, Tony's taking me. A Mickey Mouse cartoon was actually the last thing I watched before I went off to fight."

"Oh? Is that so?" Clint was evidently thinking the same thing as Bruce.

"Yeah, we had like rollercoasters and things like that, but never full blown theme parks like this."

"I… see." Clint gave the billionaire the same look Bruce did a few hours ago.

Thor, looking up from his 3rd pizza, broke the awkward silence that followed.

"Captain Rogers, I am perplexed. Under what realm does this 'Disney World' reside?"

"Thor, it's just the name of a theme park. Or, more accurately, a group of theme parks." Pepper said, popping into the conversation.

"But what is a 'theme park'? And who is this Mickey who Captain Rogers is so fond of?"

While Pepper attempted to explain the complexities of Disney World and Mickey Mouse, to no avail, Natasha came back to the table from the kitchen somehow without missing a beat of the conversation.

"Well, I think it's a _terrific_ idea. Steve needs to adjust to his life here, and the rest of us are here to help him with the transition. What's wrong with a little fun?"

At that point, conversation stopped. This was so remarkably out of character for Nat that even Steve couldn't believe her.

"You… you're joking right?" Tony asked in astonishment.

"Why would I be?" she responded curiously.

"Because… because you always say that we should always be training, and that we can sleep when we're dead, and…"

"Hey, I'm human too. I've never been, and I think it's great of you to take us all."

_Wait, what?_

"Wait, what? Everyone?" Tony couldn't believe it… taking them all to a theme park was a recipe for disaster.

"Well, yeah, that's what Steve told me when he was wondering why I wasn't packing."

_Well, this is just _great.

"Well, this is just great!" Pepper exclaimed. That's so nice of you, Tony. Can I come too?

_Oh, goddamn._

"Of course Pepper, why wouldn't you come?" Tony said, forcing a smile on his face. "So that makes… Me, Steve, Nat, you, Clint, Thor, and Bruce."

"Oh, Man of Iron," Thor interjected. "You can't forget about my brother."


	4. Make that, Eight's Company

**Wow... The response to this has been amazing! Thanks to all who read and reviewed, and a special thanks to my editors who read and put up with my moaning about what to write next.**

**PLEASE CONTINUE TO REVIEW: I am open to suggestions about what they should do in Disney World! I'm basing some events off of my funny-and not so funny-moments in Disney World this spring.**

**I know this isn't as good as I thought it would be, but I'm trying to publish one chapter every two days... Again, feedback is always appreciated!**

**DISCLAIMER: As always... If I owned the Avengers, I would be writing the movies. And they would be filled with so much fluff. FLUUUUFFFF.**

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Chapter Four: Make that, Eight's Company.

This silence was even more awkward. Most of it was spent trying to determine if Thor was joking, or if he was legitimate. Thor never joked… he didn't get sarcasm either, one of the reasons he and Steve got along so well. Was Thor just out of his mind then?

Once again, Thor was the one to break the silence.

"What is the cause of your confusion? I only meant that you should remember Loki while you are arranging this voyage."

Still, more silence. Everyone stared at Thor—he _must_ be joking now, he _had_ to be—still trying to figure out why he was messing with them.

"Thor…" Natasha said carefully. "You don't mean that… Loki's coming… with us?"

"Why of course, Agent Romanoff." Thor said earnestly. "I mentioned this to the Man of Iron last night, and he said he had no problem with it."

"I had no problem with _what_ now?" Tony demanded to know.

"You humans have such fragile memories!" Thor boomed. "Ah well, I shall explain it again. The All-father has rehabilitated my brother! I am now his guardian until Odin determines the stability of his condition."

Met with blank stares, Thor, as usual, decided it would be best to continue.

"So, I was going to travel to Asgard to look after Loki, but as we are going to a different realm, there is no chance of Loki damaging Midgard!"

"No, Thor, Disney World is still… Never mind." Pepper shut up quickly as she realized that no good could come of this.

"Thor, so does this mean…" Clint asked hesitantly.

"That Loki is coming with us to Disney-gard? Yes, otherwise I cannot attend this voyage!" Thor replied with enthusiasm.

_Shit._

"Terrific Thor, just terrific." Tony said, his voice dripping heavily with sarcasm.

"I am glad you think so, Man of Iron." Thor responded, happy as ever. "I shall inform Odin that I am bringing Loki with me on this voyage. I believe he will be most pleased."

"I'm sure… he… will." Tony replied carefully. "Well, go on then, you should go as soon as possible. We're leaving tomorrow, anyhow."

"I shall do so, Man of Iron! And I shall return with Loki tomorrow morning!"

Thor exited out onto the roof, and returned to Asgard in a brilliant flash of light, leaving the rest of them wondering what they were possibly going to do with all this pizza.

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3 fights, 4 heated discussions, and 2 and a half pizzas later, it was 8:15.

Am.

After finally deciding what they wanted to do over the course of the coming week, Clint and Natasha still kept arguing over when to go to Magic Kingdom and when to go to EPCOT.

"But Magic Kingdom has Carousel of Progress! We can't miss that!" Clint said huffily.

"Oh, yes we can." Natasha snapped back. "That thing is a piece of junk, it's about to break down any day now and it's just _old_… No offense, Steve."

Steve shrugged, seeming to enjoy the argument. It gave him more insight into what everything _was,_ exactly. Not that he had any idea what he was talking about in the first place. The last thing he wanted to be on this trip was clueless… _but unfortunately_, he thought, _that's gonna happen whether I want it to or not, so I might as well find out as much as I can._

Tony, on the other hand, was dreading this trip more and more. _Why the HELL did they have to find out, _he asked himself._ Why did Bruce have to find out… and how the hell did Clint even discover this in the first place? This was supposed to be for Steve… and now it's gone completely crazy._

"Tony… Tony? Are you listening? I said, is this schedule alright?" Pepper looked at him curiously. He was exhausted, as were the rest of them. They had been up all night, and the possibility of rest now was next to none. They all still needed to pack. Not to mention actually make the reservations…. _Shit, _Tony cursed. _I'm not gonna get any sleep this whole week._

"Whu-What? Sorry Pep, it looks good." Stark said, not even bothering to look at the schedule she had drawn up. "But you know, I can always buy out the park for the week, then we wouldn't have to worry about timing and everything."

With this, he shot a glare at Bruce. Of all the people to dissuade him otherwise, it was Bruce who said to keep all those people… so many people…

Ugh. It was giving him a headache just thinking about it.

Bruce smirked in response. "Oh no Tony, absolutely not. It's not Disney World without the crowds."


	5. Taking Off?

Chapter Five: Taking off.

Otherwise entitled, How can you _possibly_ miss a flight in your _personal_ jet?

They decided to take the Stark Corp. jet.

Because really, what even slightly sane person would try to take the lot of them to the airport? Security alone would be a nightmare… and Natasha wasn't really in the mood to be felt up by those perverts—who dare to call themselves security guards—again. _Random strip searches my ass_, she thought resentfully. _Strike that, they liked "searching" my ass too._

Needless to say, Steve wouldn't be the only one uncomfortable with airport security.

Although they had been drunk the previous night, they still decided to leave that day. The plane would leave at 5:00, giving the rest of the group plenty of time to recover from their hangovers and pack.

Tony, as usual, was in the lab. Fiddling with a possible upgrade on the Arc reactor. Bruce was helping him—he was a quick study—but he inevitably left as well, making sure he had enough time to pack.

Of course, Tony lost track of the time.

When he shut himself in the lab, he meant business. There was no way any distractions from the outside world could intrude. He even changed the door, it was opened by a retinal scan now. Rhodey kept figuring out his passcodes.

About 4 hours after he'd left, and 6 minutes of arguing with JARVIS right outside the lab door, Bruce came back in.

"Hey!" Bruce was greeted, catching what appeared to be a new integrated circuit blueprint. "I thought you said you weren't coming back 'til much later. My bad, I would've told JARVIS. Come over here, take a look at this schematic. I need a second opinion on the proper energy flow in the secondary valve."

"Tony," Bruce said calmly, carefully putting down the blueprints on a workbench. "Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?"

"Uh, no." the engineer replied, clearly not interested. "But I do know that I need an actual human to check my work, so that Arc Reactor 4.0 doesn't blow up the entire factory."

Bruce sighed, realizing that Tony had completely forgotten about the trip.

"Anthony Edward Stark," he said slowly. "You are 3 hours late for the flight to Orlando. I sure hope you have another plane, because they left without us."

"WHAT!" Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But-but-but… it's my plane! How can _my_ private plane, which I designed _myself_, take off without _me_?"

Without even waiting for Bruce's response, Tony continued with his rant.

"This is ridiculous. And you know what, I know _exactly_ who's to blame for this. It's all Pepper's fault. She's getting back at me in this ever-so-subtle way for ditching those press conferences."

"Why did you—no, wait. Don't tell me, I don't think I want to know." Bruce said. "But she's not responsible."

"Oh, really?" Tony was obviously extremely pissed. "Then who is? Because I swear, I'll rip them a new one."

Bruce hesitated for a second, but then answered assuredly, "I am."

"You?" Tony felt betrayed. "Why the fuck did you, of all people, tell the plane to leave?"

Bruce knew what he was doing when he made his decision. This entire situation was something he was uncomfortable with, and he needed to discuss it with Tony. And he needed to be as serious about it as Bruce was. Bruce took a deep breath before continuing.

"Tony."

"What, what is it Bruce. All I want to know is _why_ you would betray me like this. This was supposed to be the best week of my life, and now… well, you completely fucked it up. We might as well just stay here."

Tony said this without looking up once, still working on the Arc Reactor schematics.

"Tony." Bruce said again, realizing now how much he had hurt him.

"Listen to me. Now that we're not on the plane, I can have this conversation with you privately. I need to talk to you about—"

"You know what Dr. Banner, I really need to be working on these specs if I want the factory to manufacture the finished reactor by the end of the month, so…"

"I need to talk to you about Steve."

Silence.

"Tony? Will you promise me to take this conversation seriously?"

More silence.

He still wasn't looking up from his StarkPad.

"You know what, I don't care, I just want an answer, because it's been driving me crazy for weeks now. Are you in love with Steve Rogers?"

Still nothing.

"Dammit Tony!" Bruce shook him. _Well, that's one way to get his attention,_ he thought. "It's a simple question. Yes or no?"

"But it's not that simple, don't you see!" Tony screamed, causing the glass walls of the lab to vibrate. "I'm not gay, or at least I don't think I am. And Capsicle—Steve—isn't either. He had that… Peggy chick. It would never work between us, don't you see? And oh, dammit Bruce, I've tried. But he's as oblivious as he could possibly be. He's Captain fucking America, and he would never return my feelings."

After yet another awkward moment of silence, Bruce spoke.

"So is that a yes?"

He got a slap for that one. Tony put his head in his hands, leaving both men uncertain of what to do next.

"You've got to tell him, Tony."

"Oh, is that so, Doctor? Who made you the relationship expert?" Tony shot back bitterly.

"I'd like to think that I know you fairly well. Or at least, enough to know that if you don't tell Steve what you feel, it'll kill you inside."

_Fuck. He's right of course_.

"Fuck, Bruce. You're right."

"Tony, you can't… what?"

"You're right. I have to tell him. So what if he doesn't return my feelings? That won't affect our combat performance, at least, I won't let it."

"Tony, are you sure?" Now Bruce seemed worried.

"Positive. And what side are you on, anyways? I can do this. I'll tell him first thing."

"Okay, Tony. Okay." Bruce said, the grin slowly creeping back onto his face. "Now, let's go to Disney World! You're bound to have some plane lying around here, right?"

"I have 6, Bruce. Rhodey is using two in an Air Force training experiment, Happy flew one down to Orlando in case we might need an emergency flight back, and the rest of the gang is in the Stark 2. We're fine."

"Perfect. I'm all packed, are you?"

"I dunno. JARVIS, am I packed?" Tony asked, grinning now as well.

"Yes sir," the AI responded. "I can place both yours and Doctor Banner's suitcases in the Stark 2, sir."

"The Stark 2?" Tony asked, his smile diminishing slightly. "No JARVIS, we're taking the Stark 1."

"Sir, the Stark 1 is on its way to Orlando at the moment." JARVIS replied smoothly.

"Shit." Tony said, his face turning red. "Shit, shit, **shit**!"

"What? What is it?" Bruce asked, worried.

"The Stark 1… is the plane I took you on once, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that. Non-stop around the world! Man, that was a crazy flight." Bruce responded, the memory obviously still fresh in his mind. "But what's the matter with them taking that plane? We have the Stark 2."

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with the plane, just the, er… entertainment." Tony's face was contorted in a mix of amusement and "_Oh shit, I'm screwed._"

"Oh. OH!" Now Bruce understood. "Well, don't you personally activate it?"

The look Tony gave him said everything.

"Oh no, please no. It's not automatic, is it?"

Another look.

"You… okay. Yeah. You're screwed. Now come on, we're going to Disney World!"

Meanwhile, on the Stark One, there was a furious Pepper, a humiliated Steve, a horny Clint and a slightly amused (though she would never admit it) Natasha.


End file.
